;)
The Wine of the Ancient Mariner, Part II
Perfect for when you're sick of drinking glass shards through gritted teeth.
"The sun now rose upon the right:
Out of the sea came we,
Still hid in mist, and here I thought
Time for a drink for me
And the good south wind still blew behind
But no good drink did follow
On this sad day my wine delayed
My palate felt quite hollow
And I had done a brutish thing,
And it would work 'em woe:
For all to heck I had smashed the neck
That stopped the wine's good flow
Ah wretch! said they, the glass will flay,
Your gums and tongue shall know!Nor white nor red, like God's own head
The wonderful taste uprist:
Then all said "blech," I'd broke the neck
And sprayed a bright red mist
'Twas sad, said they, such wine to slay,
To drink myself so pissed
The fair breeze blew, the room it flew,
My lunch it followed free
I was the first that ever burst
And ruined that party
Down dropped my jeans, the boxers down,
'Twas sad as sad could be;
And we did speak only to break
The now silent party
All in a hot and red-faced rush,
My rosy face, at noon,
Right up above the chips did stand
Lit up like a full moon.
Day after day, day after day,
They stared, no breath nor motion;
As idle as a painted ship
Upon a painted ocean.
Wine, wine, everywhere,
And all the guests recoiled;
Wine, wine, everywhere,
Most of it on me, soiled.
My very bowels did rot: O Christ!
That ever this should be!
Yea, slimy things ran down my legs
I made a slimy sea.
About, about, I felt the gout
The death-fires danced inside;
The nachos, like a witch's oils,
Burnt every inch inside
And some hushed voice assured them
Uninvited, I plagued them so;
"Three sheets deep, he's embarrassed us
Maybe it's time that we go."
And every tongue, though silent then,
Was wagging in their heads;
I would not speak, for I knew that
I'd puked in someone's bed.
Ah! well-a-day! what evil looks
Had I from old and young!
Instead of the cross, cab fare they tossed
About my neck 'twas hung."
Out of the sea came we,
Still hid in mist, and here I thought
Time for a drink for me
And the good south wind still blew behind
But no good drink did follow
On this sad day my wine delayed
My palate felt quite hollow
And I had done a brutish thing,
And it would work 'em woe:
For all to heck I had smashed the neck
That stopped the wine's good flow
Ah wretch! said they, the glass will flay,
Your gums and tongue shall know!Nor white nor red, like God's own head
The wonderful taste uprist:
Then all said "blech," I'd broke the neck
And sprayed a bright red mist
'Twas sad, said they, such wine to slay,
To drink myself so pissed
The fair breeze blew, the room it flew,
My lunch it followed free
I was the first that ever burst
And ruined that party
Down dropped my jeans, the boxers down,
'Twas sad as sad could be;
And we did speak only to break
The now silent party
All in a hot and red-faced rush,
My rosy face, at noon,
Right up above the chips did stand
Lit up like a full moon.
Day after day, day after day,
They stared, no breath nor motion;
As idle as a painted ship
Upon a painted ocean.
Wine, wine, everywhere,
And all the guests recoiled;
Wine, wine, everywhere,
Most of it on me, soiled.
My very bowels did rot: O Christ!
That ever this should be!
Yea, slimy things ran down my legs
I made a slimy sea.
About, about, I felt the gout
The death-fires danced inside;
The nachos, like a witch's oils,
Burnt every inch inside
And some hushed voice assured them
Uninvited, I plagued them so;
"Three sheets deep, he's embarrassed us
Maybe it's time that we go."
And every tongue, though silent then,
Was wagging in their heads;
I would not speak, for I knew that
I'd puked in someone's bed.
Ah! well-a-day! what evil looks
Had I from old and young!
Instead of the cross, cab fare they tossed
About my neck 'twas hung."
In the box:
(1) Wine Line Fish Hook Bottle Opener (Choose Pewter or Chrome)
